Present-Tense

The past few weeks have been sooo interesting.
They have been good, hard, hurt-filled and healing.
A lot of my thinking has changed. I no longer hate the church I serve at. Mostly, because I realize that it hasn't and never will be the structural building or vision or mission of the church that can make it good...but the people. Without being a part of this place, I would've never met the people that for the most have changed my world...definitely for the better.
I've also realized that I'm extremely influenced by the people that I most love and respect in my life. For the last little while, I realized that I kept owning opinions, actions and decisions of other people.
Going to Fuel was the beginning of me becoming ME.
I learned A LOT that week, thanks to a lot of people...both there and not there. But when I came home, I realized that God was working in such a unique way to make me comfortable in who I am.
I don't know where my life is going from here...I know that I'm choosing to own my OWN. I love people. I love being wherever they are. Hamilton, Oakville, or Toronto, or Timbucktoo...seriously.
I love laughing.
I love spending time with people that know ME. and give me a safe space to be me...I love people that FREE me.
This past Saturday was definitely one of those days for me, where the smile on my face did not fade. It started with a late night before of making glorious avocado sandwiches with my favourite person and watching a documentary on East Africa while playing with the cutest puppy in the world. I went home and was dreading the early morning ahead. But I woke up and drove in listening to the top 40 (definitely good for my soul) and met some great friends for a delicious breakfast at Bennys!
I then, drove into Toronto (and FOUND my way around...HOLLA) and met a good friend for tea...and there was some beautiful moments in that tea-shoppe...broken and hard, but BEAUTIFUL.
I then, moved on to spend time with an old friend of mine...we grew up together and haven't seen each other in years. We spent 4 hours at a toronto restaurant...half inside half outside, watching the rain fall (but not on us)...we shared some wine and reminiced about the good ol' days. We also looked forward to many more hang outs and the reunion of a good good friendship. I laughed SO hard and sooo long!
I then went and spent some time with a new friend from this summer and some other great people that I hope will develop into good friendships.
The next day, I went and spent time with my family for my gramma's 80th birthday. It was pretty inspiring to sit there and hear about how my gramma impacted soo many people, I definitely hope someday to be like her.

So why am I going over all this?
Well, as much as the weekend was incredible, life has been somewhat hard lately...with thinking about things, changing friendships, and work...there's been a lot of stress.
I'm at the point where I need to focus on the good and love the present tense.

One of the coolest youth guys that I know had this quote that said, "The God of the present tense" and I believe this is one of the many lessons I'm learning lately.

So here's to the old, the new, the changed, the free, the broken, the hurt, the tears, the laughter, the people, THE PRESENT.

God promised I would be OKAY

I just got back from a week of camp...and it was such a great learning experience for so many reasons.

On Monday night, my section head, Michelle, gave us each a piece of paper and asked us to think of something God promises us or something we feel God telling us. Upon the first request to do this I had no idea what to say or more importantly what God was telling me, so I left it blank for a bit. Towards the end of the week, I realized what it was that I wanted to write down...it was that I would be OKAY.

He promised me that, and it was true....I was okay and still am.

I guess seeing that promise fulfilled made me realize that if that can be true than surely many of the promises he has given me, and others, are true as well. and that is encouraging.

Tonight I will go to sleep knowing that I am deeply loved, deeply cared for, and known by many. I am okay. I have been okay and I will continue to be okay.

I'm really tired at the moment but there will definitely be more to come!