Maybe?

I've been stressed the last few days.
Over things that I really shouldn't worry about.
Tonight was a good reminder of what really matters.
I was driving and heard Bon Jovi, Welcome to Wherever You Are, my love song.
I listened intently to the words and was consistently reminded that we need to be present.
We need to take life moment by moment.
We need to understand that we are golden children.
We are people in need of grace and people that ARE grace.
We exist to be the image of Christ.
We exist to show and extend grace to everyone around us.
Whatever's meant to be will out perfectly.
I need to understand what that sentence means.
For me, right now, it means giving up. It means literally falling to a point of no return. It means crashing and burning. It means finding beauty in that.
How?
I don't know.
I think that's what stresses me out most.
There's no right answer. There's no easy solution.
There's nothing.
Silence?
Maybe. My brain shuts off when I try and think of possible solutions.
I fear it.
I fear what might be thought if I continue thinking. I fear what might have to be done if my brain thinks any further.
Fear.
Interesting.
Fear is the root of all problems.
Maybe not, but maybe?
I fear people loving me, because ultimately, I fear rejection.
I fear adventure, because ultimately, I fear the unknown.
I fear taking the risk, because ultimately, I fear being let down.
My life is run by the fear of the next moment, the fear of being lost in past mistakes, and the fear of the future risks.
I don't know where I'm going here. My brain just seems to be running a mile and minute. Maybe, just maybe, that's a good thing.
and maybe, just maybe, you'll be my next risk.