Enough-ness

For as long as you can remember, you have been a pleaser, depending on others to give you an identity. You need not look at that only in a negative way. You wanted to give your heart to others, and you did so quickly and easily. But now you are being asked to let go of all these self-made props and trust that God is enough for you. You must stop being a pleaser and reclaim your identity as a free self.

Henri Nouwen.

I've been a huge fan of Henri Nouwen for a number of years now. Just recently, I've picked up a few of his books and began reading them again.
He's a rather profound man. Simplistic, yet provoking, thoughts.
For a longggg time, I've thought about this concept. The "enough-ness" of God. The idea that I need to find MY identity in something I've never seen, and further, to let that be enough, is mind-boggling.
There's a lot of things I've come to grips with over the last few months. A lot of insecurities, hurt, and discouragement. It's wierd when you get to a place where you're no longer driven by the pain that entangles, or used to entangle, your heart.
Because I'm someone who constantly surrounds themselves with people, with touch, with sounds, with quality time, I consistently face the pressure of defining myself by the relationships I'm in, or not in. I think this will be an on-going struggle.
I think that even further than the "enough-ness" of God, is the "enough-ness" of me. Knowing that I'm enough to be friends with you. Knowing that I'm enough to be someone's daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, acquaintance, stranger. It's a hard concept to grasp.
Recently, I was thinking about this idea.
And was reminded of the simple idea that if God is enough for me, naturally, I become enough for you.
I've realized that I need to stop being a pleaser, I need to stop trying to constantly find myself in others, I've given my heart to a lot of people...and it's good. But it's high time for me to continually give ownership over to the one who created it.

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In a more practical sense. For me, currently, I've been extremely stressed about finding employment. I've applied a number of different places. I had an interview at a place that I would LOVE to work at. They told me they'd call my references on friday and get back to me within the next week. It's currently Wednesday and they haven't called my references or me....major BUMMER.
I'm getting sick, my muscles ache, and I find myself having mini episodes of severe panic. How do I find contentment and "enough-ness" in this?
God has been showing me in the wierdest ways, that in His time, everything will be fine.
I guess this is one my man-made props that I need to let go of, and trust that God is enough.
Enough...it's a funny word.