"I hate goodbyes"--Lloyd, Dumb and Dumber

My favourite movie is Dumb and Dumber.
One of my favourite scenes, is when Lloyd drops Mary off at the airport and says

uggghh, i HATE good-byes
shhhh...don't say anything...just GO.

I don't think I've done it justice by quoting it in my blog, but hopefully you can visualize it and laugh with me.
I realized this morning that I absolutely HATE saying good-bye.
Mostly because I hate change.
I was having a conversation yesterday with a friend and we were discussing different relationships, friendships and insecurities. Over the last few months I've really come to notice a lot of my own insecurities. I'm someone who needs to know that I'm valued, I need to know that I have a place, and an important place at that, in the lives of those most important to me. I need quality time with people. I need attention...sick I know, but so so true.
Sometimes I feel like a real sissy letting people know my sensitivities and insecurities. I realize we all have them, but at times, I feel like mine are worse than everyone elses.
I also realized that now, more than ever, I care about the relationships that I have.
So much so, that I'm willing to reveal my insecurities. I'm willing to stop retreating. I never really thought I'd ever get to that point. I'm sorta thankful for it. As much as it's a pain in the ass to have to force myself out of my natural instincts, I'm happy to know that some of these relationships will last me, well, hopefully forever.
Even if that's not the case though, I think I've learned for the better. My mom always said:

it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

I used to NEVER agree with this, but now I'm beginning to see the advantage. Even losing the risk you took on someone, leaves you knowing that you can do it. It is sucky when you feel rejected and hurt, but knowing that you can work past that is worth it.
I realized today, that I'm really going to miss you this summer. I know that I have an exceptional community up north, but it's hard to leave it here. Even with some of my closest community up there, it's not the same, and I'm desparately going to miss that.
I had to say goodbye to the cleaning girls today, they are fun and we talk everytime they are in. I almost cried saying goodbye and I don't even know their last names!
I realized that this year it's going to be rough leaving.
Worse than any year in the past.
It sucks.